I like to think while I am working. And I like to learn from my baby girl, since the Bible talks a lot about everyone being like little kids. Not that we should be necessarily (though it can be good) but that whether we like it or not, we’re all a little immature sometimes. And I think God uses real-life, present examples to show us how we should, or that we do something.
So I was cleaning yesterday and Kira was on the floor, army-crawling around, getting into stuff – it was business as usual. She doesn’t particularly like the vacuum cleaner because it’s so noisy and so dangerously unpredictable in it’s movements. It’s very scary (her surprised/scared face is hilarious, FYI). Usually I put her in the high chair and feed her during vacuuming, because as scary as the vacuum is, food is very distracting. Yesterday I left her on the floor, partly to see what she would do, and partly because she’s getting used to it and I thought she might be really brave about it.
Kira was not brave. She was worried and not as calm as I’d hoped she’d be, but not crying either. She did very energetically stay out of the vacuum’s way while simultaneously getting as close to me as she could – literally clinging to my leg. I thought it was really funny because I was holding onto the vacuum! Coming close to me was getting her closer to the “danger” but I guess she weighed the pros and cons and decided it was better to be close to the danger and to me than to be far away from both. Kira decided I was safer than the vacuum was scary.
Even as I was laughing, I wondered if we do that to God sometimes. Then I wondered if God wants us to, but we don’t. Maybe that is one of the things that God wishes we were like little children about. To be so confident of His safety that we’d go into the dangerous places just because He is there. He wants to work in our lives and the lives of others, but he wants to do the dangerous stuff. Break down walls and renovate our lives, not just repaint.
I wondered if sometimes He is so close, but we feel remote from Him because we moved away from Him and the danger, instead of moving closer to both. We ought to be confident that He will take care of us, no matter what.
I’m not very good at faith, but lately I’ve been thinking that that is what faith is all about. Knowing that God loves us so much, and being able to move forward confidently because no matter what happens, His love will make it all worth while. No matter the danger or the potential for hurt, He will make the end worth the journey. That even if life gets crazy scary, it is better to be scared and close to Him than unafraid and far away.